Settling In

So, this week was my first week back at work.

It wasn’t technically a whole week as I’m doing one day off a week to use up all the holiday collected on maternity leave, but it was a lot more work than I’ve done in a long time.

It was really odd being back. It felt like I’d been away forever, and yet no time at all as well. Everything was the same – same people, same desk, same work – and everything felt different too. Some people welcomed me back, others didn’t seem to notice (someone emailed to apologise for not saying hi and said he didn’t recognise me – I forgive him because he’d only known me as hugely pregnant!)

I have to say, I quite liked being back. That might just be because it was the first week so I wasn’t really doing proper work all the time. It took me two days just to go through the 900 emails I’d collected while I was off. Another day to go through the stack of papers that several maternity cover people had left on my desk. Embarrassingly, the first day I had to ask my boss to go home early to breast pump as my boobs were huge and rock hard! Ah, the joys of breastfeeding 🙂

The hardest thing was, of course, leaving Little Moore, but for the most part that wasn’t too bad either. He did okay on Monday with my mom, though was a little grumpy and hard work, but I expected that. God knows how she’s going to cope with him and his cousin next Monday! Tuesday and Thursday he spent with his dad so I wasn’t worried about him then, and Wednesday was our family day. So the worst was Friday.

Nathan works early on a Friday so I had to get myself and Little Moore ready to leave for work/nursery by 7:15. Which was actually pretty easy as he was awake at 5:30. Sigh! Dropping him off at nursery was hard. He cried when I handed him over and I just wanted to snatch him back. But instead I made a quick exit: I think he’s worse if I hang around because he can see me and just wants to come back.

I thought about him all day. Most of me was worried, part of me was saying that this is good for him. He needs to get used to other people and become more independent, because I think he is very attached to us. I resisted calling them all day, telling myself if there was a problem they’d call. I also resisted leaving early to get him, though that was tempting! The best part was that I couldn’t wait to get home and play with him and make him smile. I think a little distance can do us good.

When I picked him up, he didn’t look too happy. They said he’d been okay, miserable on and off, had only drank 1oz of milk (I left 10 for him) and only napped for 10 minutes (normally he’d have at least a couple of hours). He looked exhausted and we ended up putting him to bed early that night, after lots of milk feeds. I’m hoping it’s just because everything’s new and strange there and that he’ll get used to it.

Plus side, we got some cute little art work from him so I need to find somewhere to hang that at home – it’s times like these I wish I had a magnetic fridge to put things on! I’ll see if I still feel happy about work next week, and hopefully Little Moore will settle into nursery a bit better.